its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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