i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Pappa wants mamma naked
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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