It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
