Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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