we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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