I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
