are you still at the devil's house?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
