You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
