Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
