I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
