It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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