I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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