You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Randomize
