You're completely useless in the revolution.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
