Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize