Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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