Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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