tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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