She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
