How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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