Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
why is half of my head shaved?
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