No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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