ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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