sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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