it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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