Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Of course I have a pirate flag
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
