I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
