Having a random hookup so left but love u
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Randomize
