she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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