Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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