Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize