Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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