If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
