RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
