It's Friday. Sex?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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