new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We left the knife in your bed.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
