Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
