Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
