Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Randomize
