I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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