allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
