idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Who died my cat blue again?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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