Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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