i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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