Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
