Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
