Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
