Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
