Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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