I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
