its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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