very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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