Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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