So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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