That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
