So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
