You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
