dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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