Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
