yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
