i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
