Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I AM VODKA MAN
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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