I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
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