so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
